


Mad tea party

by Poljupci



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Tea, love potion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 09:23:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17200877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poljupci/pseuds/Poljupci
Summary: It's just a normal day at Hogwarts: Parkinson and Granger are spicing things up with tea and love potions, Malfoy and Potter are sneaking around libraries and evil schemes are not going as planned at all.Or: Pansy and Granger come up with a clever idea to set Harry and Draco up, but they really should have talked to some tables before going around throwing love potions at people.





	Mad tea party

The tea was sweet and utterly so, sweeter than any decent cup should ever be. The kind of sweet Draco would have truly enjoyed when he was ten but, as every normal person does, he grew out of his sweet tooth phase once after he almost died in a fire. It was just an adult thing. He knew only one person who still enjoyed cavity-inducing amounts of sugar in their morning tea and he sighed as he turned to pull Pansy out of what was, he imagined, a very interesting conversation with Hermione Granger.

"Pansy, darling, have you by any chance accidentally swapped your teacup for mine?", Draco asked in a very bored, dull tone which had her raising an eyebrow at him.

"No, dear, mine is still here, as sweet as ever," Pansy took a demonstrative sip and gave him a dazzling smile before tilting her head and putting her cup back onto the table. She mentioned to Granger to give her a minute and then asked, almost sincerely worried. "Why? Is there something wrong with yours?"

He took a nice long look at her and as her friend of fifteen years, the little satisfied glow around her didn't go unnoticed by him. "Nothing," he murmured turning back to his breakfast and his spoiled tea. "My hand must've slipped that's all - it's too sweet."

"Well, sugar is good for you," Pansy shrugged and picked her cup up once again, already turning to resume her conversation with Granger. "Maybe you should just drink the whole thing - it would be a shame to waste perfectly good tea."

"Shame indeed," he mumbled to himself and downed the tea. If Pansy wanted to play dirty, he could easily play along. As if he wouldn't notice that his tea is too sweet, as if he wouldn't realise that the citrusy taste doesn't belong in his perfectly brewed cup of Earl Grey, as if he wouldn't recognise the obviously foreign taste of a love potion in his breakfast. As if!

The only thing he needed was a partner in crime and judging by the comforting hand Granger placed on Pansy's shoulder and the wicked grin pulling slightly at her lips, Potter was very much in the position to help him. He finished eating, ran his finger through his hair to give it just the right amount of volume and stood up.

He remembered cursing whoever came up with the idea of a joint Eight Year table, back at the beginning of the year when he wanted nothing more than to disappear into the background and find time to study for his N.E.W.T.s but then Potter came up with the idea of stalking him in the library and somehow sharing a table with the Boy Wonder wasn't such a big deal anymore.

It definitely stopped being a big deal after that same Boy Wonder and that same Draco Malfoy used the table for other things than writing their homework essays. Oh, if tables could speak maybe Draco wouldn't feel nauseous now because of that stupid love potion Pansy had put in his tea.

It was all ridiculous - the stupid secret something he had with Potter, the stupid secret scheme Pansy and Granger had going on, the stupid lukewarm tea he drank just moments before. And the most ridiculous of all was, of course, Harry's hair.

Draco grinned when he saw him at the end of the table, just a couple of steps away from him. He felt his cheeks blush and his hands get sweaty and he knew it was the potion, he knew that it had to be, but maybe it wasn't so bad to have some butterflies in your stomach, you know.

So he walked slowly, casually and with as much confidence as he could gather, turned his love-sick-puppy grin into a smirk and called: "Nice bird's nest you got there, Potter." His hands were in his pockets, squeezed into fists and his nails pressing little crescents into the skin of his palms to remind him that,  _no, he can't snog Potter_ , no matter how much he wants to. He cursed the option once more and walked past Potter and Weasley and Finnigan and all of them, his heart dropping inch by inch, growing cold and disappointed with every second of silence from Potter's side.

It wasn't that many seconds, one, two, three... and Potter was already pulling at his sleeve, right there on his heels. There was a seemingly angry expression on Potter's face as he grabbed the front of Draco's robes with his fists, pushing himself onto his tiptoes so their eyes would be on the same level, and Draco was once again reminded how adorable Potter looked when he was pissed at him.

"Say that to my face, Malfoy!", Potter growled and Draco just laughed, putting his palms against Potter's lovely chest to keep him stable.

"Nice bird's nest you got there, Potter." And then Draco ruffled his hair and he swore there was steam coming from Potter's ears.

"I. Told. You. Not. To. Do. That."

"You know you love it," Draco mussed and used the moment of Harry's blushing to turn on his heels and escape the curious eyes of the Great Hall. It didn't take long for Harry to recover though and before you could say Quidditch, Potter was running through the door with a shout: "Malfoy, you'll pay for this!"

.o0o.

The clock was ticking and Pansy didn't know if she should be worried or pleased with the fact that neither Draco nor Potter were yet seen anywhere in the castle. Hermione was right there beside her to offer emotional support and assurance that, no they didn't kill one another, and yes, they are perfectly fine.

"They're adults, Pans - the worst case scenario is that they end up in the hospital wing with a couple of bruises and a death wish," Hermione told her, looking up from her book.

"And if they do we'll have to endure their theatrics for another six months," Pansy scoffed and took off her shoes to curl up further into the sofa. It was getting late and the common room was empty except for the two of them and Hannah Abbott who was stressing over her assignment. "Do you think they'll show up soon?"

"I mean, they should," Hermione shrugged and pulled Pansy's left hand towards her to check her watch. "The potion should've worn off about an hour ago, so they are either fucking or fighting by this point."

"I wish they were fucking if only to save us all from that extra trouble."

Hermione just snorted at that and conjured a blanket to put over Pansy; the flames in the fireplace were dying down but she was too lazy to restore the charms. She pulled her book into her lap and told Pansy to scoot over so she, too, could find some comfortable place to doze off while they were waiting for the aftermath of their little prank.

It came less than an hour later, both of them jerking awake at the sound of an angry hiss and shutting of the door.

"You are a menace to humanity, Potter!", Draco groaned, rubbing his shoulder where Hermione assumed, he was violently attacked by the door.

"Oh, what are you going to do about it?", Potter called back, already stomping upstairs towards the dormitories. "Punish me?", he scoffed and Draco hurried after him, completely ignoring the two gaping girls on the couch.

"You'd like that wouldn't you, Golden Boy." Draco's smirk could be heard in his tone, satisfaction lacing his every word.

"You fucking wish," Potter yelled from the top of the stairs and the girls watched as Dracoskipped every second step to follow him upstairs.

"Is this an improvement, or?", Pansy turned to Hermione with questioning eyes but the only thing Granger could do was shake her head speechless because really, was this any different than the way they were acting before?

.o0o.

The tea was bitter, awfully so, and Pansy vanished the whole cup before she could take more than a sip. It tasted as if she had bitten into a grapefruit and everyone who had ever spoken even a word to Pansy knew how much she despised the awful fruit. She glared across the table until she noticed that mop of blonde hair she was looking for. Draco was barely three seats away smiling at something Blaise had said while he buttered his toast.

"Draco, darling, have you perhaps swapped your tea for mine on this fine morning?", she chimed, a strip of annoyance following her smile.

"I'm afraid not, Pans," Draco shook his head innocently. He took his cup and took a sip while grinning at her. "Mine is still here - bitter as ever."

"Is there something wrong, Pansy?", asked no other than Potter himself, frowning at her while Draco was trying to hide his smirk and failing miserably, possibly on purpose.

"Nothing important, Potter," she continued glaring at her best friend, "Must have forgotten the sugar."

"Must have forgotten that slipping people love potions is illegal," Draco added after her and took a bite of his toast with raised eyebrows.

"What p-potions?", she stuttered with eyes wide. It wasn't that she was scared of Draco's reaction, it was more that she was curious to see what would happen and she didn't want to miss a thing.

"Those potions you and Granger slipped me and Potter yesterday morning. Was that you?", Draco continued cooly, only now noticing that Granger was absent from this fantastic scene.

She tried denying it but as soon as her mouth shaped the letter 'N', a hurried 'Yes!' shot out before she clasped her hands over her lips, at the same time surprised and amused by Draco's move.

"It was your mistake you see," Draco smiled at her. "Love potions don't exactly work when the targeted person is already in love with the targeted love interest."

"You're in love with me?", Harry now interrupted, all blushy and flustered, eyes glistening with surprise and a shy smile playing on his lips.

"Of course, I am." Draco's expression melted from a mischevious one to one full of adoration and Pansy was almost lulled into the slight sense of security - perhaps Potter's puppy eyes would distract him long enough for her to escape.

Soon enough she found out that her skirt was cleverly glued to the chair and she let her shoulders slump down in defeat now that she knew that there was no way of escaping Draco's ridiculous ridicules - everyone knew his sticking charms were impossible to get out of... Damn him and his experimental magic.

"When did you figure that out?", Harry then asked and Pansy sighed. If she can't leave, at least she can watch Draco Malfoy become a fucking Hufflepuff in front of the entire school.

"Around the same time you feel asleep in my arms last night," Draco shrugged, feigning nonchalance when he was, in fact, redder than Weasley's hair.

"I love you, too," Harry mumbled then, after a moment of silence, so quietly, Pansy almost wouldn't catch it if it weren't for her amazing hearing.

"Thank you."

And then a piece of toast flew towards Draco's face and hit him on the forehead. "You can't say thank you, you moron," Harry objected with a grin on his face.

"But I'm thankful for it!"

"Say thank you to my 'I love you' one more time and I will throw you into the Great Lake."

"I would appreciate that very much," said Draco with utmost seriousness in his expression and Harry flipped him off before they both turned back to Pansy. All three of them stared at one another until Pansy finally sighed and asked: "So how long have you two been fucking around behind our backs?"

"About a month and a half," Harry said and Draco nodded in confirmation.

"And how exactly did you manage to hide it?"

"It wasn't that hard," Draco shrugged and shot her a grin. "Since you spend all your time buying love potions to sneak on your friends."

"Says the man who put Veritaserum into my tea."

 

Draco shrugged once more and conjured a new, empty cup before taking hold of the teapot. "Care for a new cup?"

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading - I've hoped you've enjoyed! Comments and kudos are very appreciated ~


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